A Day in the Neonatal

[ As to those of you who may be wondering where i went, currently, i have no computer so my blogging days are few and far between. Alas...so sad.... ]

Alright. Yes, I have been working almost a month now at DeVos' Children's Hospital up here in Grand Rapids on their NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.) And I must say, I do LOVE it so! My unit takes care of newborns with any combination of the following problems:

-kids born to moms who were on drugs/alcohol during pregnancy
-genetic disorders and complications
-infants whose moms had STD's
-multiple birth babies (twins, triplets, quads, etc.+)
-injured during birth (vaccuum suctioned, cords wrapped around necks...)

...but the majority of our patients are babies who have been born too early. They're the preemies, born as early as 23 weeks into the pregnancy, a.k.a. born up to 3 and a half months too soon. These babies are so small that their weight is described in grams, not pounds or kilograms. For Example:

Let's say Baby Jane was born at 24 weeks (6 mos.) and weighs only 450 grams (1lb is 455gms). When you think about an average baby weighing around 7-8lbs, less than 1lb seems miniscule. So Jane is extremely tiny. Her head is smaller than a tennis ball and her hand is the size of my thumbnail. Despite being barely bigger than a Barbie doll, Jane appears perfect on the outside. She has 10 fingers and 10 toes, her face is all there from miniature little ears all the way to a cute little nose. This is what the parents see, and this is one reason why it is so hard. Their baby looks perfect on the outside, only tiny. But on the inside nothing is developed. Jane's lungs are not big enough to take in all the air her body needs. Her gut isn't mature enough to digest formula or breast milk. Her eyes can't see hardly anything because most of the veins and arteries haven't attached to the eyeball yet. Jane's body doesn't know how to keep itself warm and her brain is way underdeveloped. It takes a lot of hard work, medical technology, family dedication and love, and God intervening to help babies like Jane grow into healthy children. Sometimes it happens, but other times it does not.

Being realistic with parents, yet trying to give them hope at the same time is very difficult. Babies stay on our unit anywhere from a couple days up to a year, and it may be touch and go every day of every month. Most premies stay at least until their due date, so since Baby Jane was born 3 mos. early, she would probably need at least 3 mos. to reach a developmentally stable condition. That's 3 mos. of Baby Jane's parents trying to balance jobs, older children at home, transportation, marriage, and emotional sanity while their baby is in limbo at the hospital. We get babies from all over the state, so some parents may live up to 4 hours away. Often, Mom and Dad try and split their time. Usually Dad has to continue with work after about a month off and tries to watch the older kids while mom is hours away putting herself up at the Ronald McDonald house in a city where she doesn't know anyone. It's a lonely time if no friends and families are around and the only person there is your tiny baby who has already permanently implanter herself in your heart. Mom has to make herself at home for the next 3 mos. living at the bedside of her ill baby. It's such an awful situation, and if the final outcome after so many months of hard work is Death...it just devastates families in ways I can't even imagine.

I'm finding that (obviously) this is the hardest part of my job...


However, there IS hope in these situations, and it is such an oppurtunity to be able to find ways of bringing God's love, hope, and peace into the lives of the patients and families I meet. So this is where He has placed me for now, and please keep me in your prayers when you think of me, because it takes an emotional toll on me as well. When a family asks me "Why us?! How could a loving God bring an innocent child into a world of pain just to take him away again?" I don't have any answers. In fact, I'm usually asking the same questions. BUT! I do know my God is a GOOD God and His sorrow over the situation is greater than mine, as was His love for that Baby. I don't get it. I don't understand it. It breaks my heart into pieces. But I know that God is Love and He, out of everyone, knows how to comfort me in my sorrow. Somehow the Holy Spirit still brings me hope every day.

"My soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore have hope:
Because of the Lord's great LOVE we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your Faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therfore I will wait for Him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks him."
~Lamentations 3:20b-25 (NIV)